On the other hand, we're really big tippers

Sparky and I had this debate at the beach on Ibiza: Just how many men there were close to our age? We agreed on a "few dozen or less" of the more than 1,000 (Sparky's estimate) guys sipping cocktails, slapping on suntan oil, and planning drugs for that night's party at, say, Privilege. We saw a lot of hot guys. But we didn't meet many of them. (Like: none.)

So! When are you "old" according to the younger gay set? On Fire Island, it's when you hit the mid-40s. "He was at least 45,'' one gay boy was overheard hissing recently as he described an oldster on Pavilion's dance floor. "His chest hair was, like, grey.'' To which I reply: Lemme show you my pubes, darling!

What's Spanish for 'make my cock ginormous?'

And I thought Rio de Janeiro was tourism's cheap plastic surgery destination. Mexico's second-biggest city, Guadalajara, has become the new hot spot for Americans getting work done as tour operators make a south-of-the-border lift as "simple as booking a vacation,'' the Christian Science Monitor says today. Paving the way: Air Lift, a North Carolina company hooking up people desperately seeking liposuction with a surgeon, bilingual driver and a room and all meals at a private home.

[Hat tip to Jezebel. Photo: Katherine Helmond stretches in Brazil]

Rats galore; finding 'Brazilians,' King's b-day

Pixar's adorable-looking Ratatouille, opening tonight, is drawing rave reviews this morning. "The animation is astonishing,'' says the Wall Street Journal's Joe Morgenstern. Need a Brazilian in San Francisco? Don't we all! Of course, I'm talking about a super-close shave; urban travel guide Gridskipper points the way. Plus, disco diva Evelyn "Champagne" King turns 47 today; more big birthdays here. Foodie-centric Ratatouille is very much a product of Northern California. "For six years, members of Pixar Animation Studios took classes at Bay Area cooking schools and channeled the artistry of Thomas Keller, the chef/owner of Napa Valley's critically acclaimed French Laundry restaurant,'' the San Francisco Chronicle says. Want more? Here are some clips:

It's a gorgeous San Francisco day: Sunny, with highs in the upper 60s to lower 70s. Sparky and I have been sitting on his magnificent new rooftop deck, enjoying views to the Bay and beyond. Pass the Soothing After-Sun Balm, $21 at San Francisco's own Nancy Boy!

How Marco stays dapper

San Francisco's Gay Pride weekend is three weeks from today, and the hype's begun here and in New York, where Isle de Manhattan's high holidays take place the same weekend. New York's Next magazine consulted Sir Himbo himself -- Marco Dapper (above) -- on diet, style and workout tips for boys wanting to look smart that weekend. Want abs like his? Try leg lifts, Marco says, and don't forget: "Exhale when lifting legs up for maximum benefit and less soreness the next day." Wait a sec. I thought these were exercise tips. See all my Marco posts in Castro Confidential's archives, here. Or check out his MySpace page. [Photo: Adam Bouska]

Castro Halloween's now history

Leading today's Examiner and the B.A.R.: HALLOWEEN-A-GO-GO-GONE: It's official -- the Castro's occasionally violent Halloween street party has gotten the boot. SOMA MUGGING: Gay graphic designer, 45, says one man punched him in his left eye while a second man laughed on Harrison near 10th Street. WALGREENS TO EXPAND: Its 18th Street store is getting bigger, and (surprise!) folks are already whining. OUT THERE: A fabulously fashion-forward week at the Castro Theatre. KARRNAL KNOWLEDGE: Director Herve Handsome has a wonderfully suggestive name, but his porn films were bland. Until now.

Why I rode my bike to Golden Gate Park

. . . and followed that ride this afternoon with a workout at The Gym SF. I'm aiming for even better legs and a more bubblicious butt. [Photo: Out via Kenneth in the 212]

A Kabuki visit, and the age-old question

Will there be anyone cute there? The answer last night was, yes. He was the guy with a dragonfly tattoo spreading across his muscular upper back -- something I noticed when I first saw him at Gold's on Market Street, back when I worked out there.

I like the Kabuki. There's a sexual tension on men-only Saturdays that's unlike anything in a regular bathhouse. I suppose that's because -- officially, even on Saturdays, when it's almost all-gay -- the place isn't about sex. It's supposed to be about contemplation, finding a quiet space. And it certainly has all that. But in that dim lighting, surrounded by half-naked, dripping-wet men, it's hard to stay unfocused. When: men only on Mondays, Thursdays and Saturdays. Where: 1750 Geary Blvd., at Fillmore. How much: communal baths are $20 weekdays; $25 weekends.

San Francisco's newest retailer to be sold?

Moving closer to opening off Union Square, luxury department store chain Barneys New York is now reportedly on the auction block.

How Barneys defines luxe: by selling $160 bottles of Bois 1920 cologne (left) with a pitch that would make Pepe Le Pew swoon: "This Oriental fragrance encompasses the seductive mysteries of Amber with base notes of citron and sandalwood." When: Barneys to open Sept. 19. Where: 48 Stockton St.

Scratch 'n' Sniff Department: New York Times perfume critic Chandler Burr has an evocative name and a handsome face.

How do you like it, David?

Blond, according to US, now polling readers on David Beckham's new hair color. I gotta agree with the 92% so far saying thumbs down. Want more players? Check out Kenneth in the 212. I'm loving his photos of Notre Dame hunk Brady Quinn.