He's gay, and he's got a big, big, big...

. . . brokerage account! That's Peter Thiel (left), uber-investor, resident of San Francisco's posh Pacific Heights 'hood, and employer of a butler, Silicon Valley gossipeuse Valleywag is now reporting.

"By now, you've likely heard how Peter Thiel parlayed a $500,000 investment in Facebook to a stake now worth $750 million,'' the Wag says. "There's been a crush of coverage on his $220 million Founders Fund, which may well change the way entrepreneurs get paid in the Valley. We know about his mansion (he rents it -- clever!), his butler, his early-morning jogs. But what no one ever says out loud: Thiel is gay."

What are they drinking in the Menlo Park venture-capital firms along Sand Hill Road? Thiel would be at least the second high-profile outing this year of one of these famously stuffed-shirt financiers.

What makes the opera so gay?

A little skin, in the form of this hunk dressed as a temple guard at the San Francisco Opera's 85th opening night gala Saturday night . . .

. . . and a lot o' fur and jewels, in the form of the city's top moneybags socialite, La Dede Wilsey (wearing Oscar de la Renta!). The San Francisco Chronicle has all the bold-face names here. [Photos: Laura Morton, Chronicle]

Murdoch wins; 'Don't Ask' review, sex science

Exceptionally unattractive late-in-life babymaking media mogul Rupert Murdoch, dark overlord of the anti-gay Fox News channel, is adding a new jewel to the crown of his evil empire: Dow Jones & Co., publisher of the ultra-conservative Wall Street Journal and other rags for the monied set. Adm. Michael Mullen, President Bush's nominee for the nation's top military post, told a Senate panel yesterday he welcomes congressional review of "Don't Ask, Don't Tell." So sad: Lately underdressed actor Matthew McConaughey may start wearing clothes again. Plus, researchers have discovered why people like sex: It feels good to cum!

[Photo: AP; Murdoch doppelganger C. Montgomery Burns, Fox]

Are you gays nuts for plaid or what?

I thought perhaps it was my imagination: Whenever I wandered through the Castro, I saw you wearing them. But then I checked out Abercrombie & Fitch today, and there they were: four styles of shorts in 13 different plaids, from $49.50 to $59.50 (left). Not exactly the madras shorts Sparky's been looking for, like these at Banana Republic, or the sort recommended by my college chum Lisa in her Official Preppy Handbook. But close!

Madras makes me think of summers in Maine, where I worked as a teen-age au pair for a rich family on their private 23-acre island in the middle of Rangeley Lake. Their friends and relatives included a Gimbels Department Store heir and a Palm Beach stockbroker who stored pot in a Carr's water biscuit tin in his bank safe-deposit box. They entertained themselves racing vintage Chris-Craft runabouts across the lake. See, Sparky? I was born to be rich!

Mrs. Astor doesn't regret

If she did, she wouldn't be giving a bundle to her no-good son and daughter-in-law. Now 105 and in rapidly declining health, socialite and philanthropist Brooke Astor plans to leave her nearly $200 million estate to family, friends and charities, the New York Times says today. Her will details the disposition of mink and chinchilla coats, a necklace glittering with 367 round diamonds, a Park Avenue duplex -- and the words to be inscribed on her headstone: "I had a wonderful life." Indeed! [Photo: New York]

Tales of the hard-working new socialites

No longer content to be mere ladies who lunch, the new young dames with dough are workin'-it girls: Vanessa Getty (above) and Alexis Traina of San Francisco, Tinsley Mortimer of New York, Paris Hilton of the Los Angeles County jail (ha!) -- and, Gotham magazine says, Fabiola Bercasa (I heart that name!). New York's Fabiola is the "socialite extraordinaire and creative director of Circa, the exclusive and uberdiscreet jewelry dealer." Translation: Circa's a pawn shop for the monied set; Fabiola reels them in. From a 7:45 a.m. personal trainer session to a 7:15 p.m. Valentino rooftop dinner, Gotham chronicles a day in the fabulous life of Fabiola. [Photo: That's a Judith Leiber jewelry ad featuring Getty]