From a Yelp review of Jose's Landscaping service in Menlo Park by one desperate (and illiterate!) housewife in Silicon Valley: "My neighbor recommended Jose to me when I saw her landscape done a few years back. Negotiate! Jose is flexible as he is kind. Since 2003 to the present, I had Jose put in a new lawn and water sprinkler system (which he still maintains), a brick trim on the garden and patio (and part of the driveway), two fences, new plants and box hedges in the front and back of my home, I worked out a flat fee for a mow and blow job twice a month. Jose's men fertilizes your plants/lawns at least five times a year. Whatever you want done, Jose and his crew does it fast, clean and effeciently."
Ha, ha, ha! She said blow job. That's so funny. No? Oh. Well: Let's just look at that photo of naughty Desperate Housewives gardener Jesse Metcalfe and his even naughtier neighbor, Eva Longoria. [Photo: IMDb]